I think Friday will be my most hated day ever. I have a class from 7:30am until 11:30am, then ojt from 1 to 10pm. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really liking Cravings now. But having to juggle my studies, ojt, and errands at home is making me crazy! I need to have my laundry done more often for my weekly uniform. But I have to do some after-school group meetings so I go home late. Then by the time I’m home, the laundry shop is already closed. This is just one scenario of how things get complicated. Now, I have to give up (temporarily) my social life. It’s supposed to be fine, but the first month of the first semester is the time when I get to hangout with friends that I didn’t see last summer.
I remember one teacher during highschool who told me that there are 3 S’s that a student must juggle: Studies, Sleep, and Social life – you can only choose two and give up one. But you really doesn’t have to “give it up”, just prioritize more the other two. But now, I’m having studies (which includes the ojt) and sleep and giving up (almost totally) my social life. And I thought I cannot give up my social life now. I need my friends for the three functions this sem!
But then again, there are people who have problems worse than mine. I know a friend who is having the FN16 affiliations plus the 117.1 ojt. I should feel blessed! One word of advice for those taking 117.1 next year: choose a great restaurant (which I think I did) and finish the ojt during summer. I really should have taken it during the more than 3 free weeks I had between summer class and 1st semester.
Now that I’ve laid off my bag and feeling better, I should start with what happened today.

June 27, 2009
I was tasked to clean the newly delivered potatoes as soon as I got in the kitchen. It was not that hot and I was in a good mood. But the production area, where I cleaned the potatoes, was kinda clean and free. By free, I meant that there’s nothing much to do. The potatoes were supposed to be for Sunday. There were potatoes already peeled in the fridge for tomorrow so I just have to wash the new ones for tomorrow’s peeling and the next day’s boiling and mashing. It felt a little wierd that I just have to wash them. It seems too simple. I just thought that who can be trusted with small things can be trusted with big ones. So I washed the potatoes whole-heartedly, removing all the dirt that I can with my hands under the running water. Afterwhich, I was idle.
I just helped with whatever my fellow ojt’s were doing. But Nikos told me to back off. He wants to finish his task all by himself so he would have less of idle moments. Afternoon/night shifts are usually the easier ones since there are lesser things to do. But it is really hard to kill the time. Good thing the head chef told me to prepare the lettuce puree for the next day’s cream of lettuce soup.
I chopped some onions and garlic for sauteeing, put in the lettuce, let it boil with some water, and I was almost done. After it cooled down, I pureed it at the coffee bar (since the kitchen blender was broken) and voila, I was done again. I just have to cover its container and let it sit on the fridge for the next day. It was that easy.
After the lettuce preparations, I peeled a lot of shallots. It was really wierd that I would not tear peeling a lot of shallots whenever I’m at the Cravings kitchen. Everytime I peel/chop shallots or larger onions at home, I really tear up bigtime! I don’t know what’s with their kitchen or in their onions. It was quite strange, but at least no tear was bothering me while doing the shallots.
And then I had another idle time. I just helped one fellow trainee to clean up the rice. It was my very first time to clean up the rice. She told me about how people in the province use the bilao to remove the husks that were left with the bunch of grains. It was cool. I thought I did something new to me. I don’t know why I didn’t see my lola doing the bilao process with the rice in La Union.
The trainee I was helping was assigned to do another task so I finished the rice myself and realized that it took me almost 2 hours to finish about 20 kg of rice. I had my break, then when I got back in the kitchen, I was again doing nothing. The chef told me to clean the counters and stoves, which I thought I was quite good at. I really cleaned the counters so well. The chef saw me and thought that I was doing to much. He told me to take a rest after I was done. But I didn’t want to. It was wierd how I reacted since in a normal school day, I would choose to do nothing than doing a lot of things.
I was just standing at the kitchen looking for something to do. There was none. The chef told me again to rest. So I did, I mean I kinda did so while looking for opportunities to do something. It really felt like having a great time at Cravings now and I want to maximize my 150 hours there.
When I saw the broom, I started sweeping the kichen area. Afterwards, I saw where they stored the mop, then I moped the whole kitchen area. One line cook asked me, “okay ka lang?” I just smiled. I really didn’t want to do nothing, it makes me feel like I’m wasting my time at the restaurant. As soon as I finished, several orders were coming. So one line cook asked me to cook and plate several dishes. When all the orders were done, I helped yet another trainee to slice old bread for croutons.
There werea lot of bread that were left since molds were already growing. I felt disgusted, at the same time, I felt sayang for the whole bunch of bread. It was a lot of bread! One line cook told me that they just throw it away or give it to children who would sell these bread to local bakeshops to make pudding. Then I felt more disgusted. I don’t want to eat pudding from unknown bakeshops ever again. I don’t know if the cook was just kidding around. But at least he gave me an idea of what might probably happen with the excess/molded bread. It also made me feel quite disgusted about croutons. I love crisp bread and so I love croutons. But after this evening, I might not want to eat croutons again.
Slicing the bread for croutons was the last thing I did today. I was not stressed out after my last task. But as soon as I got home, I just wanted to sleep. It is 11:30pm now, time for guapo sleep. Until then (or tomorrow)!

June 30, 2009 (for June 28, 2009 shift)
I didn’t go to Cravings today. I still had abdominal cramps since yesterday. I called the time off for yesterday since I had a lot of assignments to do – like I had one (or two) for every subject this week. My stomach was aching since yesterday, finished only two assignments, and so I decided to call the day today off, too.
I had a rather relaxed day last Saturday. I just finished listing all the things I did and found out that I only did a few – a few variety of work, that is. I was assigned at the pantry area and the line cook there made me prepare all the salad bar preparations:
• Slice cucumber and tomatoes (also for the sandwiches)
• Make carrot shreds
• Slice the mushrooms and ham
• Make coleslaw and potato salad; and,
• Open the cans and pour the contents in the containers for the rest of the salad bar ingredients
I have to admit, I had a harder time opening the cans since the can opener was not that efficient! The line cook in the area kept on asking me if I were okay. I was so okay doing those things. Doing the salad bar preparations that most of the Cravings guests eat made me feel like a hero. It mght be because I was doing something that people would never bother know who is preparing, but then they enjoy it. And I knew I was preparing something that has all the SANE qualities.
That’s what I did before my break. After the break, I was on ith the cooking. I did the orders for penne with sausage and lemon, spaghetti bolognese, cheeseburger, tuna and mayo sandwich, and some main dishes. But I only did a few.
Then It was almost 6am and people in the kitchen are just waiting for orders to get a job done. One chef was even asleep while on shift since there was really no guests. I felt kind of scared for him. As what I know, no one can sleep during his/her shift. Then an order came up so I had a better reason to wake him up. After the order was done, I was back to doing nothing. I just roamed around, seeing what other trainees do,a nd help them.
Since there weren’t that much guests, one chef told me to help him cover or wrap all the equipments and materials in the kitchen. They were to fumigate the whole place by the time the store closes. I wanted to see how they do the fumigation but my shift would only end until 8pm. The chef told me why they do it on Saturdays. It’s because there really are a few guests during the evenings of Saturdays and Sundays, so there are lesser things to do in the kitchen. This made me wonder why there were only a few guests during weekends when it was supposed to be family days.
My theory is that since the restaurant’s fine dining menu is composed of items for single a guest, families would not want to eat there. Because most Filipino families dine with dishes for the whole family to share, then they woudl rather choose food service establishment that offer a replica of the dining cultures in Filipino homes. Or it might be that many people are in the malls and they’d rather eat there than bother go to Katipnunan to dine.
I don’t really know why. All I know is that when my shift ended, I was really not tired because of the day’s practicum. But instead, I was stressed thinking all my academic homeworks for the week.

June 19
I was so nervous as I was walking along the premises of Cravings, Katipunan. I was never excited with the practicum. I do not want to spend some 150 hours waiting tables. But of course, I would not be waiting tables the whole time. I will first be assigned at the restaurant’s kitchen. And as I was entering by the CCA front door (yes, the employees pass by the CCA door), I thought, that moment was so cool. For the next 20 8-hour shifts that I will be doing, I will be very close to my dream school, CCA. Then I realized that I would really be enjoying working near Chefs Rosebud and Tristan’s alma mater.
I was first assigned at the kitchen. The main kitchen door has a good view of this small quadrangle in the middle of the CCA building. And I saw myself wearing the blue polo shirt with “I want to cook for the world” written above the CCA logo. Screw medicine! I want to be at CCA.
Anyway, back to the kitchen. The manager walked me to the “hot kitchen”, and man, it was so hot! It felt like all the pores in my body had opened when I was inside. It was like a sauna room with milder heat! Good thing I was assigned at the pantry. It was cooler there since it was near to another door next to the dining area. The large refrigerators and chillers were also located there and there was an electric fan. Whenever the door opens or the chiller/freezer door opens, the cold air would go by the pantry and it was intensified by the fan. Enough of the scince of air flow in the Cravings kitchen and on to the real work.
The pantry is where most of the canned and packed goods were stored - hence, the “pantry”. It is also there where all the pasta and sandwiches are prepared, as well as the ingredients for the salad bar. My very first assignment was to slice the baguettes. The chef showed me how it was done. Then, my first several slices were of inconsistent thickness. So she decided to slice them herself and give me the “butter” job. I basically butter all the baguette slices.
As I was doing the job, I saw the several tiny roaches around the pantry wall, but I was not surprised. My classmates have already told me such thing. Back to the “butter” job: as I was transfering the container of a mountain of baguette slices, one piece fell on the floor. The manager was talking to the chef that time in the pantry. I was calm, but in my mind, I was like “first day, first assignment, and they just saw how clumsy I was, damn!” Then, what the chef did was pick up the slice from the floor and place it back on the rest of the baguette pile. And suddenly, my high expectations for Cravings was shattered on an instant!
I always associated Cravings with CCA. I thought CCA was like “The Culinary School” and Cravings would be like “The Restaurant”. But then, as no human is perfect, then so must be the institution. There is never a perfect food service institution. Yet I still believe in a food service institution with excellent food, excellent service, excellent food safety and quality control, and several other areas that they can be excellent with. And I thought, I can someday build or help build that institution.
Next thing I did was to slice the gulaman for the salad bar. The chef for the evening shift came. And as the morning chef was done introducing me to the evening chef and orienting the him on what else to do, the evening chef slapped the gulaman with both his bare hands. “Damak! [Bisaya for disgusting],” I thought. He shattered the broken pieces of my expectations of Cravings even more!
First day and everything as open. I learned how to not expect for everything to be the way you wanted. Things just would not work that way all the time. At least, I learned how to make the Cravings herbed butter and how to slice the gulaman in such a way that the pieces would not easily break. I also sliced several cheeses and cooked some spaghetti. I portioned out several pastas - including the spaghetti I cooked - the cheeses I sliced, and ham. I arranged the storage area for canned goods according to the FIFO principle. I also helped in plating some entrees (the evening pantry chef told me to help the other chef in plating since there were nothing else to do in the pantry area) so I could do it confidently by the next day. And finally, I mopped the floor
I had an hour more left and I was doing nothing. The chefs told me to relax since there were nothing much to do. There were just a few costumers and I have to wait for an order to come so I could help more on plating. But I cannot just stand inside, doing nothing. So I mopped the floor. It was the first time I mopped the floor since highschool (that was what I and the rest of the boys did back in highschool during general cleaning days, which happens on the last days of school, just a day before the classroom inspections.
That was how my first day went and I have several days of more work to come.

June20
I was so tired during my first day of work yesterday. I woke up early this morning and I just laid down on my bed for about an hour before getting ready for work. I came to work a bit early so I stayed in the locker room for a while and waited for my watch to hit 8:20 (my watch is 20 minutes ahead of the actual time).
To tell you the truth, I was a bit disappointed of what happened the yesterday, but I was a bit excited for what else was in store for me today. I was not really tired during the last hours of my work yesterday, but when I got home, I felt like I just wanted to hibernate for the next 24 hours. Anyway, my watch hit 8:20 and I went to the kitchen.
“Good morning Hubert!” The chefs greeted me with a wierdly warm smile, as if I was like their co-worker for sometime. It felt very welcoming. I greeted them back. And by the way, I introduced myself as Hubert since using my real name sound more professional. I even made a new email account for my resume; it was a simple, yet more professional email account (hauntal@yahoo.com) than the one I was using for seven years now (nerd_hoobs@yahoo.com).
The head chef asked me how my first day went. I told him it was fine. Then he told me that I will be assigned at the frying area. It was where fried dishes are being fried (and thus the name). Also, it is there where food production for functions are being done, where the large stock pots are being boiled, and carbohydrates for entrees (mashed potatoes, plain rice, garlic rice, and pilaf rice) as well as other ingredients are prepared.
The head chef led me to the counter where a bowl of about five kilograms of fresh shrimps were sitting on ice bath. I had to peel them all up and devein them. The chef showed me how it was done. He peeled one shrimp in like two seconds. Then I started peeling. I was so slow that I always watch the clock and realized that I was peeling one shrimp for like thirty to sixty seconds. Behind me, on another counter, was my classmate who was busy peeling several carrots. We talked just a little. An hour passed by and I was not even halfway done with the peeling. Finally, one practicumer from another school helped me.
He as talking to me about how long he did it last week. He said it was the most dreadful thing he did the whole time. It was going to be my most dreadful work, too, I thought. But he told me I was going to like it there. To tell you the truth, I like it there, I just did not like the idea of doing my practicum during the semester – together with lab reports, papers, reports, and more! He told me that he was to complete five hundred sixty hours. I was like “five hundred what?!” But he had no class, just the affiliation. He was working there six times a week for ten to twelve hours a day. He said that he was trying to end it by August or September so he can stay at home by then.
After some time of chatting over shrimps, we were done. We did it in two and a half hours. He told me that he will do the deveining so I can do other things. Then the chef told me to peel some carrots, then a bunch of potatoes for tomorrow’s event.
The manager called all of the students for a meeting. Tomorrow’s father’s day and the restaurant was expecting a lot of people. So they told all the students to gather for briefing on tomorrow’s assignments.
After the meeting, I sliced the carrots that I peeled, refrigerated the potatoes I peeled, portioned out the marinated tapa, and skewed seafood kebabs. Then I realized that my day was over. It seemed so quick. I did a few things. But since everything was in bulk – like peeling and slicing about five kilos of carrots, peeling about three kilos of potatoes, portioning about three kilos total of marinated tapa, and skewed about thirty sticks of kebabs, not to mention over three two hours spent on skinning shrimps – I did only a few variety of work within eight hours.
All I needed was someone to talk to during a few variety of working on a bunch, and I was off to my house. I was not as tired as yesterday. And I was excited for tomorrow’s event. I felt so lucky that such an event would land on my schedule. Tomorrow will be a big day for me and for everyone at Cravings.

June 21
Fathers’ day! I slept late last night and woke up past 7am today. I was hurrying for work. Good thing I got there at 7:59. Haha. Not even a buzzer-beater! I went straight to the locker room and waited for my classmate to borrow his chef’s jacket. I will be the runner for the salad bar for the next half of my day and I did not want to go to “public” wearing a white polo shirt – that’s what the “cotractuals” who do the dishwashing and the rest of the dirty work in the kitchen are wearing. The rest of the ojt’s, specifically, those from other schools wear a chef’s jacket. And I wanted to look more professional – I wanted to look awesome!
Anyway, while waiting, the manager saw me in the locker room. She said it was crunch time. So I just went to the kitchen. I bumped into my classmate and he told me that he forgot the uniform at home so I have to wait until the afternoon. I went to the kitchen wearing what the contractuals wear. I will just be inside the kitchen for the first half of my day, anyway. But deep inside, I was so excited to wear a chef’s jacket!
I went straight to the frying area and mashed a bunch of cooked potatoes. They were a lot! My classmates were telling me that no one finishes the kitchen without doing the mashed potatoes. And doing so today felt like having my initiation while my classmates were all in the dining area! After mashing about a kilo of potatoes, my arms were killing me. It felt like lifting weights in the gym. Finally, after mashing the last potato, I felt a big relief.
Next thing to do, boil the milk and butter and finish up the mashed potatoes. I did it with a fellow trainee from the other school. He was like a chef there, probably because he was there for a couple weeks now. We mixed the mashed potato and tasted it. The chefs there were telling us to taste it ourselves and be the judge over what we did. When we finished, we did great. It was double the usual mashed potato produced for a single day. And it felt so great knowing that what we did would be served for all the entrees with mashed potatoes for the whole day.
The next thing I did before the break was to skew some kebabs for the salad bar. Then it was break time. All I thought for today was to wear the chef’s jacket.
After the break, I finally got to wear it, and as I have thought, I really looked awesome in it. Before going back to work, I took some photos with my classmates who were wearing fedoras and suspenders – looking like they were members of Mafia or something. When I got back to the kitchen, I was so excited. I went to the pantry area, where I was assigned for the next half of my day. I did several preparations for the salad bar. I washed the lettuce leaves, peeled and mashed boiled eggs, and sliced several vegetables, including mushrooms and tempe. Then, we were told to wait a bit since the guests, as the chefs told me, would start coming by 6pm.
I checked the salad bar often, feeling the prestige of the chef’s jacket in the dining area. But, the expected number of costumers did not go out that great. Everyone were hyped in the morning, but by the evening, a bit of disappointment was mixed in the kitchen atmosphere.
The whole evening, I was just sitting around with my buddy, waiting for costumers to come. I was assigned with a buddy, a fellow ojt, to run the salad bar. I was going out to the dining area a lot, and I could observe that there really were not that much costumers tonight. Just yesterday, everyone was telling me that there would really be a lot of people coming to celebrate fathers’ day. Just yesterday, everyone was at hype for the preparations. But the day turned out a disappointing one.
I did not feel that tired as I finished today. I even washed my clothes myself when I got home (I cannot send it to the laundymat since I do not have anything else fresh to wear tomorrow). Today did not end so well at Cravings. But it does not mean I should also end it that way, too. Then I realized that I have not called my dad yet. So I called him, wished him a happy fathers’ day, told him about my day at work, and greeted him again. I checked my Facebook, saw the photos my classmate has uplaoded, and then I changed my profile pic. (see photo)


June 22
I had to wake up so early today. I watched several episodes of this TV series on the internet last night and I finished at around 2am. I had to wake up so early to be at Cravings before 6am. Today was my first Monday, my first 6am shift, and my first 117.1 lecture meeting. Man, I’m so tired!
I was assigned at the hot kitchen. By the way, the “hot kitchen” is not the whole kitchen with a temperature higher than the room temperature. It is the middle part of the kitchen where all the entrees and breakfast meals were being cooked and plated. It has a salamander, griller, and an 8-burner stove (or it might be 2 stoves with 4 burners each; I really cannot rememeber).That’s why it is the “hot kitchen”. The very first thing I did was to help the line cook to slice onions, bell peppers and tomatoes for the salsa. It was so early, yet I was already sweating a lot!
After the salsa ingredients, I did the apples and mangoes for the sliced fruits that come with most breakfast meals. Afterwhich, I peeled and sliced the carrots for the vegetable sidedish that comes with every main entree. It took me about 3 hours to finish peeling and sliceing the carrots. It was a lot of carrots! After doing everything, my hands were yellowish!
The hot kitchen was located right in front of the kitchen door and I had a good view of the small quadrangle in CCA. I saw the students gathering around in the quadrangle and I was again dreaming of being in their position. I thought I’m willing to give up medschool for CCA. If only it was fine with my father. I was thinking of really telling my father what I wanted to do after CN this August (I’m going home this August). After I sliced all the carrots, I woke up from my day dreaming. Tome for another task. I have to get busy. It was so hard to kill the time doing nothing.
The line cook told me to blanche the carrots, together with the Baguio beans to finish the sidedish. I kept calling it the garnish because I thought it was so. But the cooks call it “sidedish”, so it must really be the side dish. Then I grilled a steak for take out. The cook was doing something else so he asked me to finish the steak. It was hard to “tancha” how to finish the steak. I was afraid that the guest might complain if it was undercooked or overcooked. Cravings would always serve it well done, unless the guest requests otherwise. But I did good anyway. I didn’t receive any complains from the guest. So I thought I made an awesome job with the steak. Afterwhich, sliced some jicamas for the salad bar. I don’t know why they call it turnips. I thought they must know the right English term for singkamas. I just knew that they werecalled “jicamas” from HRIM students in my HE101 class. But anyway, I had my break after doing the jicamas/turnip.
For the second part of my day, I was just helping in cleaning up the kitchen. It was the general cleaning. Water with detergent was all around the kitchen floor while the only 2 cooks were cooking. Everyone else were cleaning. There were many roaches that were killed while cleaning. I thought they, or we made a great job with the roaches. But the floor was all so wet. And I’m wearing my low cut black sneakers. My feet were all soaked up. It felt so disgusting that I thought of going home and take a shower before going to school, or just skip class. It really felt so disgusting!
Good thing I had a classmate who forced me to go to class. I removed my socks and went to class without them. All I wanted was to take a shower, but I coudn’t mss the first day of class. We first dropped by a coffeeshop before going to UP. But the coffee did not really work. I was still sleepy in class. I was so tired and so much disgusted of what I was wearing. I’m so ‘dugyot’!
When I got home, I immediately had a shower. I felt so fresh now! But I’m so tired, I just wanted to sleep. SO goodnight for now!

i read the write up 'Filipino' from uncyclopedia.org
as suggested by cecile in her blog. she seems so mad about it that i got curious and a bit mad for such a write up to bring down my own race. reading the introduction part got me boiling. but as i was reading the rest of it, especially the 'but fuck insane' part, i got into this thinking that it must be a filipino who wrote such article. only a filipino would know and bother know the 'conyo/jologs' schemes in the philippines. only a filipino could know a lot about modern (or post-modern) filipinos - it takes one to know one! it must be for the readers, especially the filipinos, to realize that there are more things in us that we could bring on the table. it must be soe sort of a reverse-psychology that the writer used in order to suggest filipinos to wake up from the ill-fated reality in which most of us have dumped our future into.

i actually agreed to all of the writer's points, except for the collective term "Filipinos" that the writer used. it seems to suggest that all filipinos are exactly like those mentioned. yet, the reverse-psychology comes in this part. not all filipinos are exactly those that were mentioned, thus, readers like us should prove that!

it's 6 hours before my first class. in less than 4 hours, my phone will play that annoying sound to bug me off from sleep. yet, i wonder why i could still manage to wake up a great morning even after such an irritating buzz. i would fall into the ecstacy of my dreams, wishing the next morning that they'd become true. after my alarm, i could still manage to face reality in a hopeful, upbeat mood. i must have been used to getting back into th realms of reality. no matter how hard i wish for reality to go on the way i want, it would always end up different. i have to accept the way life goes. i have to get use to the way things end up. i have to sleep when i'm supposed to a couple hours ago. now, the only thing i can lean on is my phone's alarm. a few minutes from now, i would once again drown into another ecstacy. but a few hours from now, reality will have to slap me in the face to greet me a good morning - and yet another morning will i have to face with a bunch of hope that's enough before such day ends. night, good night! morning, see you soon!

hey there upper east siders... hehe... wala lng... hello sa lahat ng taong nakakaintindi nito, especially those who leave a comment... wala lng... i just arrived... sounds like i've been to a trip... dito lang ako sa katips... with the katipuneros... i had this conversation with the taxi dricer on my way here... it was something about Dingdong Dantes and Marian Rivera... 'tang ina,' he said as if a very exciting realization struck him, 'ang tindi ng sex appeal ni dingdong, ang ganda naman ni marian... ganda ng chemist nila'... lol... ganda nga ng chemist nila... tuloy, naalala ko ung liner na "it's not my problem any more, it's your problem any more!!!" lol...

summer class is half done. and im so excited to have yet another summer after summer. summer class is just as busy as the normal sem. yes, i only have three classes. but how could you have fun if you have to sleep as early as possible to wake up at around five in the morning to catch up a social dancing class, extracting from my skin the same amount of sweat i normally produce by running half an hour on the treadmill? the good thing, my last class ends at one in the afternoon, the we-don't-have-a-class-today (which i think is the prof's best present) happens more often in the week, and my social dancing makes me socialize and burn calories at the same time. I stopped going to the gym this summer, thinking that i would just be wasting time and effort since i will just be gaining back the excess weight on my post-summer-class-vacation. going back to the excitement that rushes from my heart and back, which you wouldn't really bother about, pushes me not to miss a class. a failed subject would make my parents neglect me just like how they avoid the uninteresting free-taste corners in the supermarket. that was an exaggeration, alright... and a vague and pointless metaphor. anyway, i'm actually undecided whether to spend the rest of summer 2008 in davao or la union. my real home is in davao, but i also feel home in la union. two homes, one choice. i hope i could spend a week at both homes. all i could do right now is to wave goodbye to april and give may a welcome hug. there's no room for you here june!!!

I watched the film Orapronobis recently, a film by Lino Brocka. The first thing I noticed was the poor cinematography of the film. I know it was shot during the eighties. But the organizers’ copy must have been taken from a wearing original one as brought by repeated showing. In other words, the original one was already gasgas na before they copied it. The musical score and editing was also poor. But anyway, the screenplay, direction, and acting of the cast were great. Considering that it was taken back in the eighties, with underdeveloped technologies compared to what is currently present, the movie deserves outstanding reviews!

Another one that I observed about the film is its realistic plot. There were many stories about the Marcos dictatorial rule. They were bad. But stories point out that after the regime, it was worse! It must be due to the lack of knowledge and experience of Cory Aquino to lead a country. From an elite housewife, she instantly became the president of the Philippines. Leading a country after a dictatorial regime is like baking for the first time. A recipe may be as complete and comprehensive as it could, but if the baker has no knowledge on what to do when the recipe says “knead” or “fold”, then the resulting product is a far from perfect. Leading a country is very complex. A good politician may start from a university, studying political science, law, and other related courses, then managing district, city, or provincial offices - theories and personal experiences are required.

The Philippines has an inexperienced leader in a time when the country is overjoyed by the end of the dictatorship. The people thought they were very free. The political prisoners who were freed felt even better, thinking that everything would be back into place. But no, everything went worse, especially in the barrios.

As shown in the film, a group of armed civilians in the barrio, known as Orapronobis, were putting up intense crimes – killing innocent people and pointing out that they were rebels when investigators come. They even killed an Italian priest due to the anger of the group’s leader. The group was not protecting the people at all. What made things worse was when the town police does nothing to the point that they were allowing the group to do what they wanted. It was a phase in the history far from the one before the dictatorship. The first EDSA Revolution did stop the dictatorship, but the crimes were not resolved.

History Repeats Itself

The film showed the lives of some Filipinos, which consisted of a dot in the population. But it gave a good idea of what was really happening without the media reports and government interventions. Moving forward fifteen to twenty years later, the events are pretty much the same. Joseph Estrada was not a dictator, but one of his corruption schemes was brought to public, causing his outer. Gloria Arroyo replaced, another woman president. But she was the vice-president at that time. She is well-equipped in terms of knowledge and experience. But things were pretty much the same as what happened during Aquino’s term. The Philippines was longing for a better and more honest leadership after the second EDSA Revolution. Though, economy-wise, Arroyo gave a leadership that is good enough to bring the economy a little higher. But it still was not enough to terminate poverty in the country. In terms of integrity, what can I say. Remember the “Jose Pidal” scam, the fertilizer fund scam, and the “Hello Garci” scandal? Those were just a few. The first two primarily involved other government officials and the first gentleman, but reports say the president herself was also involved. Those were just a part of the media frenzy since Arroyo is still the president. Add to them the “ZTE-deal” scandal that is shaking her seat once again.

Aside from those scandals, remember the number of victims of political killings? The figures were hard to remember since they are constantly changing. Yes, the numbers are still increasing. It is not new, though, since the political killings during the dictatorship did not stop after the first EDSA Revolution, and up to the present, it has not stopped yet. “Enforced disappearances” is not also new. Disappearances of activists and leaders has not stopped when Aquino was the president, and so as at present.

Remember the coup during Aquino’s time? Arroyo does not fall far behind as evidenced by the “Oakwook mutiny” and several other coup attempts such as the one that occurred recently referred as the “Manila Pen situation”. Indeed, history is repeating itself. At present, there is no other way for the Philippine society to get out poverty. The Filipinos will never taste the freedom they desire. The Philippines will never be a first-world country until a president of better skills an economist than Gloria and as pure hearted as Jesus Christ is elected.

Who is there to blame? The Filipinos can put a housewife into presidency. The Filipinos can elect a showbiz personality in different government offices. The society cannot unite in electing the right people. Many of the government officials, or probably all of them, are marked corrupt. The country is known as the second poorest in Asia and second most corrupt in the world. In the end, the Filipinos are to be blamed. On the bright side, the Filipinos are known to be the sixth happiest people in the world, but we cannot just simply smile on what are happening. The Filipinos are also known to be resilient. Thus, it is time to bounce back. To become one of the richest countries in the world once again is not impossible for the hardworking, well-skilled, talented, and resourceful Filipinos. Filipinos can always find better ways to lift up its country. Just look at the movie Orapronobis - it has become an internationally acclaimed film given the technological constraints. It is even considered a national treasure.

My Room

I was the only one who watched the movie. The organizer (NARRA-Youth) has two screenings of the movie – one at 1pm and another one at 3pm. It actually started a couple minutes past 3:30. The proponents were probably assuming that more of my classmates would watch. I went to the FC AVR after my PE class (around 3:15pm), took a seat, waited for a couple minutes, and finally, they started running the film. I was the only one inside. The organizers were outside the room.

I was actually expecting that no one else would come by the time I came to the venue. They totally lacked advertising strategies. They probably invited only at the CSWCD classes and did not go around the other departments and colleges such as the Sociology department. When I was in my Socio11 class, I was required to watch. I failed to see the movie screening at the Film Institute due to a conflicting class. The next time around, I was able to see the movie, all by myself inside the FC AVR, feeling like it was my room. Since I was the only one who watched, there was no discussion that followed the film, unlike what they previously said. It was fine anyway since I had a lot of things to do and I was not in the mood to engage in such a discussion that time. I was tired!

The film, according to my Socio11 teacher (as I could remember), was not allowed to be shown anymore since the Cultural Center of the Philippines (CCP) only had one copy. The CCP was actually trying to conserve the quality of the copy they have as it was considered a legacy by a national artist, Lino Brocka. It was supposed to be the last showing. But the organizer used a computer file. See how Filipinos could find ways? I do not know where they actually got the file. But surely, they can now show the film over and over again.

The film was said to be very controversial (as told during Socio11). It was banned during the time of Cory Aquino’s presidency since it was considered to be a strategy of distabilization. Since it was shown in the campus for “educational purposes”, it was not prohibited. That is also one of the reasons I watched the film – it was a controversial Filipino movie legacy. It was even better when I was the only one watching. It felt like I have my own entertainment room! I did not bring any food and drinks, though. I’m not sure if food and drinks were banned in the FC AVR.

The film showing was actually for the benefit of the refugees displaced by the life threats imposed to them by the CAFGUs, armed civilian groups prettyt much like the Orapronobis. They very much represent the people in the barrio as portrayed in the film. But what could they donate to around 11 refugee families when I was the only one who watched in the second screening? In the first screening, only 9 people watched (I actually peeked at the first screening registrations). That makes us ten, multiplied by fifty (the film cost P50), that is equal to P500. What would P500 do for 11 families? I do not know what else the organizer will do. They would surely find another way to bring more donations as they found a way to have a copy that would not further destroy the one CCP has kept.

Conclusions and Realizations

The film was an authentic portrayal of a reality most filmmakers would not bother do. It was weird, unique, and gory as it may seem, but it depicts something that happened in reality and is still happening. I could just imagine if I were in that scene (in true life, of course). It must have been worse. It is a part of the process more popularly known as “history repeats itself” – just look at the poor refugees who have caused NARRA-Youth such film showing. Arroyo may be ousted (or not) by another EDSA Revolution - or shall I say another People Power as demonstrators are trying to do such in a different part of Metro Manila – due to the “ZTE deal” scandal. If ever she will be ousted, who will took her place, vice-president Noli de Castro, a political newbie, who won the elections due to his journalism popularity? Shall we allow history to repeat itself?

I was required to attend a seminar or talk or whatever you call it about something in Geography. I was required to write a reaction on it afterwards. I made one, which I passed yesterday. It is called "The Journey I Wouldn't Really Bother".

The talk entitled “Journey Without Maps: Poststructuralism, Postmodernistm, and Non-representational Geographies” was good enough. But the speaker was probably assuming that he was talking to a crowd of Geography majors. I could hardly get by with the discussion. My classmates also had a hard time to cope up. He was actually talking for an hour about defying the structuralist norms that have dominated the common geographic perceptions. The rest, I could not comprehend. What interested me most was the open forum. It actually stimulated my thinking. A guy raised a question concerning the chaos that it would probably bring if ever there was a rebellion on the present views on geography. I thought he has a strong point. In a country, rebellion against the government would bring chaos. In geography, it could have been worse. The speaker says it would all come done to the fact that each individual would have different ways to see it. But I realized that there are some geographic concepts that can never be defied. I mean, imagine if I would fly back home (Davao City) and the pilots would rebel against the present geographic concepts. Worse, they would have their own different views. Then what would happen to the plane? I do not know whether I would arrive to Davao alive. This simply means that there are concepts of geography that should not be challenged. But in movies, defying the norms as led by art may be applicable as it may enhance the cinematic experience of the consumers. As the speaker quotes, “there can never be a grand theory in human geography”.

Another question was raised by a professor. She asked whether or not the people would go back to the normal and orderly geography if ever they would come to live in the chaotic one. I thought that could be possible. Since this “defying the norms” thing is brought up by the idea that not all people could live in somewhere that is very restricted, then, in a time where people live in a “chaotic” environment, they might long for a set of rules that would put things in order. At least that is the way I see it as I always want to experience something new- I easily get bored, just as I got bored to the talk. I cannot stand listening to someone when I don’t even know what the heck he is talking about.